High Hopes

Today I was crushed, because I had high hopes.

I let my guard down. I put myself out there. I waited. I wanted. I wondered. I had high hopes.

A few weeks ago there was a message in my twitter box from a company, asking if I have what it takes to make the cut. I replied, I do. I do. I thought I did. I was under the impression that I embody all they are looking for, and more. They specified that you don’t need to be a dynamic mixologist; you don’t need lots of experience or education. I have experience and education. I will make the cut. I had high hopes.

Weeks went by with their posting different profiles on their Twitter and their Facebook pages. Not a lot of action was given these applicants. I was again, waiting, to see if my profile would appear on their page. It did; 30something out of 102, did. I was one of them, surely this means good things. I had the most “likes” on one post and equal if not a tiny bit more good, encouraging, raving comments, than another.

Today, I was crushed. Today, I had high hopes. Today, they were squashed.

I’ve been checking Email, Twitter, Facebook, etc; and again. Over and over I’ve been checking as they said in their stipulation for applying, I must be available for training on the 7^th. Two days ago they checked my LinkedIn profile and posted on their Twitter that they are narrowing and they will announce their top three, soon. Their soon, sadly was not as soon, as my soon.

Today I was crushed because I did not make the cut. I did not even make the top 12 to be turned into the top 3 to be turned into the top; numero uno.

Why were my hopes so high? Why was I boosted and encouraged by my peers and friends and Sisters and Aunts and Cousins and old business contacts and associates and teachers in the field this is?!?

Why did I cry like a child?

Hope is a blessing. It, in itself is encouraging. That’s why. For me to have high hopes and true, unadulterated belief in myself is a blessing. I would have bet my life that I’d make it, at least, to the top three. I, however, didn’t make it, at all.

Tomorrow, I will again, have high hopes in something, because I am all of those things that were said and written about me, in the last few weeks. I am hope; high hopes.